I'm hurting yet i don't want to talk bout it...i don't even know how all these madness in my life happened but i'm hurting. People commented what an ice queen i seem to be...i am such a bore yet i have to swallow it all...be it bitter or sweet...but i have to admit that somewhere deep inside me as much as i am hurting i do miss you very much...it makes me feel sad...so sad that i feel numb...i can't describe what i feel at the moment...
i am far away at the moment yet i feel nowhere away from all these madness...if only i can freeze time...or rewind it back... maybe i would do it all over again...then again no one cares...no one...at the end of all these i can see who remains to be my true friends...those who would say that i am at fault yet will still beside me and support me...those who would say that i am right only to say otherwise and giggle behind my back...and those who refused to say anything, standing still like a buch of lifeless idiots.
i am truly dissapointed to see how things are going on...but i shall take it positively, that this is part of life's learning process..for me to learn and proceed with life with more caution... i have to admit that what i have gone through since the starting of 2010 have only make me harder and only concretes the wall that i have built to protect myself...i don't know whether i'm stronger...it doesn't matter anyway.
i am not perfect, i know that...no one is. hurdles, obstacles, difficulties are all part of life's journey...for my life maybe an open book for others to scrutinise and ponder upon...but after all said and done i have to admit that i am deeply hurt with these events. i took chances and savoured its outcome...but never in my lifetime had i expected to be betrayed and hurt this much....
i am deeply crushed and more hurt with your refusal to stand-up for me against all these madness and talks about me....your refusal to stand up and clear the air is totally unacceptable, it's so unbecoming of you and i shall never forget it despite whatever the future may be.
the winner takes it all...and one day the truth shall prevail...and it will hurt you more than it's hurting me now...if it's within my control, i will make sure of it...if not i shall just let it be.
at the end of the day, my mind is clear and i know who i am, what i want in life and the dreams that i have for my future... but you, you are totally in the dark and completely clueless of who you are, what you want in life and your future... i am not saying goodbye to any of you that have caused all these madness in my life...i look forward to the surprises and rewards that life has to offer to me and each of you...be it good or bad...
good luck!!! the truth hurts but it shall prevail and when that happens the winner takes it all.....
